Firefly oh how you shine shine shine

February 11, 2013

OMFG I'M PREGNANT!!! THE STICK SAYS I'M PREGNANT!!! OMFG I'M PREGNANT!!!

Oh god bless the digital pregnancy test, dare I say the greatest gift to womankind since we stopped waiting for the rabbit to die! No more staring at lines, interpreting colors, changing the light source, taking a poll, rubbing my eyes, looking again, and generally making myself nuts.

I can't believe I am growing a human.

This morning I woke up and everything tasted like metal. Thinking about food made my tummy turn a bit and every food I could think of sounded about as interesting as eating a cardboard box. And then came the pulled pork. I went to my favorite BBQ restaurant (Blue Ribbon) and couldn't even begin to imagine having pulled pork in my mouth. I got collards and mashed potatoes, and ate about 4 bites of each. And then I was done. SOMETHING WAS TERRIBLY AWRY!!

Positive pulled pork sign. Followed by positive "Pregnant" stick.

I am totally unable to process this idea. The image that keeps popping into my head is of a tiny flickering light, like a a firefly. I just hopes it keeps getting brighter and steadier. 

I am only 4 weeks and 5 days along, so there is much to come, many possibilities. I don't know how it will feel if the pregnancy does not move forward, but I do believe that whether or not I pretend not to be excited, I will be sad. And so I will treat this like every burgeoning relationship and jump in head first. If my heart gets broken, I will surround myself with friends and family and remember that no other broken heart has killed me yet. 

Here's to the firefly! Flicker on...